Monday, November 7, 2011

This one is about Poo

Why are women the most disgusting people I know? I mean seriously, how did you get that there in the bathroom? BARF. I work in a "professional" atmosphere, and I say that with air quotes, you see because while I may work for Uncle Sam with supposedly educated people who are mostly older than me (I am the youngest in my area by 10 years and I'm 29) they have a tendency to behave like middle school children but I digress as that is a story for another time and place, this post is about the women's bathroom.

I expect a certain level of nastiness in public restrooms especially bars and places where people have been drinking. Here at my fine government workplace though I feel as though I should be wearing a hazmat suit when I enter the bathroom. I mean how do you get poo there? Its like certain people enjoying destroying the bathroom with their bowels so much that I am convinced it has to take extra effort to do so or perhaps someone really needs to see a Dr. I mean I get things where they need to be and it really doesn't require any special talent that I know of. And why don't you flush! I understand we all have what I like to call "bathroom emergencies" but lady I don't want to nor need to see yours and I am pretty sure you didn't even wipe so I hope I don't get on the elevator with you later.

I have worked with kids and at a daycare and this place has it beat  and kids finger painted with their poo there. And truthfully I swear one day someone made their own artwork on the stall door here. I won't even get started on other lady products that are used and are disposed of on the floor. I feel as though the next training class here should be how to use the bathroom properly instead of saving for retirement.

I would hate to see what these women's bathrooms look like at home and I feel bad for their families. Or perhaps they are drunk at work (I am pretty sure some people here are drunk most of the time) Maybe even they are rebelling but really do I need to suffer? Go picket outside the White House or join Occupy Washington or something else to getting your rebel juices going but please for the sake of my gag reflex don't let them go on the floor of the ladies room.

So please lady keep it in the bowl and flush. And next time please don't announce to the others in the bathroom that you feel "10 pounds lighter" because I really don't care or let out an exclamation such as "Oh My!" we all heard it and are thinking the same thing and trying to escape we don't need any commentary on your sound effects. Everybody poops, I know I just don't like to see it on the floor.

For the record this is far as I know O doesn't frequent the ladies room at work.

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